Cheese Store Field Trip!

Today we went on a field trip to the Beverly Hills Cheese store. Its about 50 years old and one of the oldest cheese stores in the country actually. Its small but very classy, old registers and meat slicers. Ironically enough, my stomach has a strong aversion to cheese. I never warmed up to like it and when i have had it on rare occasions, i got severe stomach pains. But i understand that as a chef i should be familiar with all food mediums. The guy who gave us the bulk of the tour was so sweet. It was very refreshing to see someone so passionate about cheese! We sampled cheeses (duh) but also some good olive oils, cured meats, salami, mustard, and this fig cake which i couldn't get enough of. they served it with a sheep's milk Gouda, but i brushed off the cheese and ate as much on this fig cake that was left on the sample tray. We still had to show up in "semi" uniform (as in we just needed our jackets and shoes, although i forgot about the shoes and wore my bright pink nikes, very classy, no?). It was funny walking back to my car, someone asked me if i am a chef and i said, "no, this is a costume". I was obviously joking but he believed me for second (hey, its la, you never know...). I can't lie and say i am 100% ok these days. I am actually falling a little a bit into this depressive hole i was in when i started culinary school. this whole website getting exposed thing i think made this negative aura around me and i think the whole class collectively hates me. I hope this won't affect me cooking, but i am just not happy right now, and its seeping to outside the kitchen as well. I already have self esteem issues, and having a bunch of haters doesn't aid that. I feel the relationship between my dad and i is deteriorating as well which is upsetting because i want to make him proud because he's done so much helping me pay for school and all. I need to start seeing a therapist again. I saw therapists since my mom died when i was 13 and stopped when i went to college. Than in college i started seeing one again and when i moved back home to go to culinary school, i sort of stopped therapy period. I am sorry to make this a sad post, i am just really upset lately. don't worry, more upbeat posts to follow.